Yeh Kya Ho Raha Hai

With Malice Towards One And All Lord Rama was used by one set to legitimise themselves and and go from 2 to absolute majority. Lord Hanuman favoured another set recently to beat those at the hustings who claimed to have Lord Rama on their side, purportedly because the temple issue had been resolved and he was free to change sides. Previously Lord Shiva had decided he was not taking sides till the temple issue is resolved when a dynast from a past behemoth decided to invoke him to come to power. Bholenath wasn't as Bhola as Pappu thought. Now in all this pagan and kafir giri, the ones from the one true faith felt ignored and they were handed an opportunity on the platter via a CAA and a proposal to apply NRC to the nation at some point of time. They got a chance to show strength on the streets and with able support of deracinated Sanatanis propose Balkanisation and Azadi to the Rashtra. Why wait till the next election to get opposition to power and democratically reverse the decisions made by those democratically chosen to govern? All you need to do is become a public nuisance and market the romance of revolution and righteousness. And this theatre plays on. A section of Delhi on its knees while remaining going on with their business completely unawares till they read about it in papers and hear it on news as journalists hyperventilate on Television along with equally learned guest panelists. For the record India is a Sovereign, Secular, Socialist, Democratic Republic. #merabharatmahan

CRPF Timing Certificate

Mamu's note to Rudrakshi

Life is full of what if’s. It was with so much excitement we were looking forward to your arriving in our lives. Your Mummy and Daddy had thought of a name for you. On Shivaratri, they decided they would call you Rudrakshi. But you had different plans. You left us all crushed and heartbroken. The day started with the smiles of eager anticipation and all we are left with now is the tears of your separation. Yes, the world is full of miseries and its natural to be scared but your Mum and Dad would have given their lives to keep you away from all those and your Mamu would have loved you the most. Alas, you went back to being an angel. Now watch over your Mummy and Daddy because it is now that they need it the most. It will be spring soon but for us the winters returned too soon.

The Difference

Excerpted from emails of Pt B.K Dass,

Mohammad Aslam Khan from Jammu is surprised to know as to why despite sufferings of the Muslims in the Gujarat communal riots, they preferred not to migrate unlike Kashmiri Pundits with relatively a little sufferings.

Kashmiri Pundits are not Guajarati Muslims and Gujarati Hindus are not Kashmiri Muslims is the main reason why the two like riots with unlike results.
Most of the communal riots occur on Durga Pooja or Tazia the procession of Shia Muslims. Minor trifle over the height of the mast of the flag or music of the band played on Durga Pooja gives the reason for the cause.

On the contrary, my neighbour across the road, Peerzada Ali Shah a separatist, (served number of jail terms) son of Lassa Peer, Acting President of Political Conference at Zaindar Mohalla used to hold one end of the rope, tie it with the sill of his window to be used for the arch to welcome the Janam Ashtami procession from Sheetal Nath via Narparistan-Fateh kadal-Karfali Mohalla-Zaindar mohalla-Tanki pora-----and finally culminate back at Sheetal Nath. One of the contingents was the horse riders who incidentally used to be the Muslim tonga wallas.
Action was replayed on the Deshera procession that used to start from Dharm Sabha Lal Chowk and culminate at Iqbal Park. On both these days, the city wore a festive look. My Muslim friends were equally enthusiastic.
Last year Muzaffar Shah (Totea) son of Peerzadad Ali Shah came from the USA for the treatment of throat cancer of his father Pirzada Ali Shah. His father had an intermittent halt for one month for the chemo therapy. To avail the one month recess fruitfully, his father deputed his son to Jammu to visit all of us at different areas. By 1 AM he concluded his welfare and curtsey calls. Is it possible elsewhere in the world?
Atiqa ji my sister used to have verbal war with militants who hurled slang on me in 1990. Rafiq and his wife treat me as their father and two of their infant daughters as their grandfather. Right from April each family member gives me ring to avail summer months at their dwelling. The family has reserved a set of two rooms for my stay.


No music in the valley was repugnant enough to flash communal riots. On different days ‘bajan mandlis’ were held at different kashmiri Pundit households. I remember one such mandli was held in the house of dyeing master Sham lal Labroo. The house was in the close proximity of the Zaindar Sabun Astan. The two were separated by a four feet wide lane. Music played by the Mandli and the Nimaz offered by the Muslims had no repugnance for each other. Some Muslims after they offered Nimaz attended the mandli to enjoy its music and praise for god. This type of harmony is not found anywhere in the world and not to speak of Gujarat.
1957, at 18 +, me, on way to Lal Mandi Park was teased by some street urchins. They were all Muslim boys quite elder to me. I did not retaliate until we reached the park. Abruptly my hormones activated and in my own style, I took one of them by surprise and hit him hard with my head strike (Thoal). Taken aback, he fell down on to the ground. Before others would pounce at me, Ghulam Ahmmad from Tankipora (known as Amea Ledrie, because of his pale face) warned and set rule one-to-one. No two will attack him. Soon the street quarrel came to an end without any revenge in the near future. Amea Ledrie retired as peon attached to the late Dr. Puran Raina and I still give him lot of respect for his scruples.
Kashmiri Pundit is rare specie unlike Gujarati Muslims. Our life to us is more precious than any treasure in the world. My wife died in 2000 and since then I am a singleton. The situation is not the same for a Gujarati Muslim. Either can get married as many times as he or she likes. There is no child labour amongst Kashmiri Pundits. One of the causes of mass migration is that the education of our wards was at stake under abnormal conditions.

Had we been used to the 1990 treatment, we would have not been aghast and not migrated. We never expected Bita karatay killing his bosom friend Sunil Tikoo. I never expected my erstwhile friend Professor Ali Bhat to swear falsely by Prophet Mohammad (PBUHS) against me. I never expected Liaqat Ali Khan junior lecturer and committed to Allah Walay group to falsely swear by the Prophet that I was a Police officer in the garb of a teacher. I even today challenge them to prove their misgivings.

Words or lack of it...

I read a couple of very powerful paragraphs on words where the author lamented how they had deserted him off late. I have a very limited vocabulary and I guess that’s why I find people getting bored in my company, because I reckon I speak the same words too many times without building in the beauty of alliterations. But this is not about my knowledge of words. In fact this thought did not arise till I re-read those couple of paragraphs while the radio played the Bee Gees hit “Words” in the background. The famous lines “Words are all I have, to take your heart away”.
Since then I have been trying to visualize a world without words. And the more I think about it, the more depressed I get. I get depressed because I can only recall instances where words caused suffering. I understand that words are a unit of language with a semantic meaning. I also understand that words were invented so that people could share their thoughts. But is it words that define the relations between people? How would the world have shaped if there were no words?
There are so many emotions which do not require the use of words and yet these are the ones that stand out since the time words were invented, for instance, the look on the mothers face when she sees her new born for the first time.
Are words the only thing to take some ones heart away? Are words not liable to be used or abused as per convenience? The problem with words is that they are not absolute. They are open to interpretations. Just like one mans terrorist is another mans freedom fighter. Look around and you will see how words have been prostituted for the self serving needs of those in power. And if you do not want to go that far, just look inside your house and see how the same words are used in different circumstances to connote different things.
Even the purest relation of them all, individuals connect with the almighty is corrupted by the use of words. Why does one need the help of words to connect to almighty? Is he not omnipotent and omnipresent? And that’s the reason I think the invention of words was the work of the devil.

Clean Up, but dont touch the panes!

It was 06.07.08 yesterday. At 12 Akbar Road, it was a spontaneous outburst of natural instinct when a few flower pots were accidentally knocked down and cracked as the people marched into the house of our fatherly Union Minister. Instinctively a few people bent down to pick the broken pieces and make the place as spick and span as before they had entered as any disciplined and well brought up Pandit kid would do. Unfortunately a few pieces in this clean up process got misdirected and broke a couple of window panes of Mr Soz's outhouse which happened to lie somewhere between the driveway and the dustbin.

After that like good hearted romantic movie protagnists, 50 of these pandit kids decided that they could just sit down and raise slogans while someone came out to take the memorandum from the house. This belief was reinforced by the fact that they were casually let into the house. I am sure all of you know, an Akbar Road gate can not just open by the mere push of 8 KP's 6 of whom happened to be of the feminine gender including a couple with lap babies.

And then in true movie style the police arrived around 50 minutes late, and then they even allowed these kids to leisurely set a few scraps of paper on fire that was the memorandum that might have been submitted if any well meaning staff of of Mr. Soz would have come out. But unfortunately, Mr Kutty was too busy thinking whether to use force on us or not and how would his reaction have been if Mr Soz was inside the house.

Eventually when enough damaging evidence was recorded of Hoodlum Pandits and the voice overs of some old debates between Imam of Jama Masjid in Delhi and Praveen Bhai Togadia of VHP added, the video was sent to Greater Kashmir for bringing out its article. Thats where the slogans of "Down with Pseudo-Secularists", "Dont Let Al-Qaeda spoil Kashmiriyat" were in a single brush stroke beautifully painted into "Provocative Slogans" by the revered copy writers of Greater Kashmir. And we can't blame them, after all every one fears the Gun especially when it can anytime-any place be used to turn the editor into a historic "Vaadi Ki Awaaz"

I heard while Pandit Kids whom dear minister considered his own were enjoying the hospitality of Delhi Police under his able and direct guidance; Yaseen Mallik, Syed Ali Shah Geelani and others were singing a small little Happy Birthday Song for that wonderful toy called AK-47. It turned 61 years old yesterday.

Long Live "Sufi"din Soz, Long Live Kashmiriyat!!!

About the articles on Love

I happened to pick this book by Osho sometime last year in Mumbai. These articles available on internet appealed to me. They somewhere alleviated the pain that I had been feeling for sometime. They make an interesting point and are not far from truth if you examine things around you closely enough.

Happy Reading!!!

From Love to Lovingness!

The word love can have two absolutely different meanings- not only different but diametrically opposite. One meaning of love is relationship; the other meaning is love as a state of being. The moment love becomes a relationship, it becomes bondage, because there are demands and there are frustrations, and an effort from both the sides to dominate. It becomes a struggle for power. Relationship is not the right thing. But love as a state of being is totally different. It means you are simply loving; you are not creating a relationship out of it. Your love is just like the fragrance of a flower. It does not create a relationship; it does not ask you to act in a certain way. It demands nothing. It simply shares. And in sharing also there is no desire for any reward. The sharing itself is the reward.

When love is a state, you cannot do anything about it. It will radiate but not create any imprisonment for anybody, nor will it allow imprisonment for anybody, nor will it allow you to be imprisoned by anybody else.

But we are accustomed to creating relationships from our very childhood. A strange man and you have to create a relationship with him as your father. You can never be certain that he is your father.


There is a story of a palmist. An atheist, a young man who did not believe in God and did not believe in any kind of bullshit, palmistry etc. went to this palmist and said “if your science is true, just read my hand and tell me where my father is right now”

The palmist looked at his hand and said, “Your father has gone fishing.” The atheist laughed and said, “that’s why I say; it is all non-sense. My father has been dead for the last three years; how can he go fishing today”

The palmist said, “That’s none of my business, but the truth is, the man who died was not your father. Your real father is fishing. You go to your mother and ask. If she is sincere and honest, she will tell you that the man who died was not your father- although you had created a relationship because you were told that he is your father”

Our whole life is surrounded by many kinds of relationships. And relationship as such, real or imaginary, is a very subtle kind of psychological slavery. Either you enslave the other or you become a slave yourself.

Another point to be noted is that, you can not enslave somebody without becoming a slave yourself. Slavery is a double-edged sword. One may be stronger, one may be weaker, but in every relationship we become the jailor and the other person becomes the prisoner. From the other side, you are the prisoner and they are the jailor. And this is one of the basic reasons of humanity living in such sadness, in such a sorrowful state.

Let your love be a being. Not that you fall in love, but just that you are loving. It simply is your nature. Love, to you, is just the fragrance of being. Even if you are alone, you are surrounded by loving energy.
Two persons can be loving together. The more loving they are, the less is the possibility of any relationship. The more loving they are, the more freedom exists between them. The more loving they are, the less is the possibility of any expectations. And hence naturally, there is no question of your frustrations.

When two persons are in a relationship and their expectations are not fulfilled and they are not going to be fulfilled- then immediately love turns into hate. Expectations were there and now frustrations are there, but first they were projecting their expectations and now they are projecting their frustrations. Neither can see that they are surrounded by their own unconscious ideas and they are suffering.

And just as they were imagining love, they were appreciating the other, not knowing the other at all, now they are condemning the other. That’s why it should be remembered; don’t have any expectations, love because love is your inner growth. Your love will help you to grow towards more light, towards more truth, towards more freedom.

And hate is much stronger a relationship than your love, because your love is superficial. Your hate is very deep. Your hate is your whole animal heritage. Your love is the potential for the future; it is not actuality but only a seed.

Living with a woman that you don’t love, living with a man that you don’t love, living for safety, living for security, living for financial support, living together for any reason except love, makes it nothing but prostitution.

Be loving and remember that anything real is always changing. Existence is a constant change. But the notion, the idea that love should be permanent, if it is true…and if love disappears one day, then the natural corollary is that it was not true love.

The truth is that love came suddenly; it was not because of any effort on your part. It came as a gift of nature. When it came you would not have accepted it if you had been worried about its going suddenly one day.


--- discourse by Osho

Love is not a Relationship!

Love relates, but it is not a relationship. A relationship is something finished. A relationship is a noun; the full stop has come, the honeymoon is over. Now there is no joy, no enthusiasm, now all is finished. You can carry it on, just to keep your promises. You can carry it on because it is comfortable, convenient, cozy. You can carry it on because there is nothing else to do. You can carry it on because if you disrupt it, it is going to create much trouble for you… Relationship means something complete, finished, closed.

Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is always a river, flowing, unending. Love knows no full stop; the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not like a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point. It is an ongoing phenomenon. Lovers end, love continues– it is a continuum. It is a verb, not a noun.

And why do we reduce the beauty of relating to relationship? Why are we in such a hurry? Because to relate is insecure, and relationship is a security. Relationship has a certainty; relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe just an overnight stay and in the morning we say goodbye. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow? And we are so afraid that we want to make it certain, we want to make it predictable. We would like tomorrow to be according to our ideas; we don't allow it freedom to have its own say. So we immediately reduce every verb to a noun.

You are in love with a woman or a man and immediately you start thinking of getting married. Make it a legal contract. Why? How does the law come into love? The law comes into love because love is not there. It is only a fantasy, and you know the fantasy will disappear. Before it disappears settle down, before it disappears do something so it becomes impossible to separate.

In a better world, with more meditative people, with a little more enlightenment spread over the earth, people will love, love immensely, but their love will remain a relating not a relationship. And I am not saying that their love will be only momentary. There is every possibility their love may go deeper than your love, may have a higher quality of intimacy, may have something more of poetry and more of godliness in it. And there is every possibility their love may last longer than your so-called relationship ever lasts. But it will not be guaranteed by the law, by the court, by the policeman. The guarantee will be inner. It will be a commitment from the heart, it will be a silent communion. If you enjoy being with somebody, you would like to enjoy it more and more. If you enjoy the intimacy, you would like to explore the intimacy more and more. And there are a few flowers of love which bloom only after long intimacies. There are seasonal flowers too; within six weeks they are there, in the sun, but within six weeks again they are gone forever. There are flowers that take years to come, and there are flowers that take many years to come. The longer it takes, the deeper it goes. But it has to be a commitment from one heart to another heart. It has not even to be verbalized, because to verbalize it is to profane it. It has to be a silent commitment; eye to eye, heart to heart, being to being. It has to be understood, not said.Forget relationships and learn how to relate.

Once you are in a relationship you start taking each other for granted– that's what destroys all love affairs. The woman thinks she knows the man, the man thinks he knows the woman. Nobody knows either! It is impossible to know the other, the other remains a mystery. And to take the other for granted is insulting, disrespectful.To think that you know your wife is very, very ungrateful. How can you know the woman? How can you know the man? They are processes, they are not things. The woman that you knew yesterday is not there today. So much water has gone down the Ganges; she is somebody else, totally different. Relate again, start again, don't take it for granted.And the man that you slept with last night, look at his face again in the morning. He is no more the same person, so much has changed. So much, incalculably much has changed. That is the difference between a thing and a person. The furniture in the room is the same, but the man and the woman, they are no more the same. Explore again, start again. That's what I mean by relating.Relating means you are always starting, you are continuously trying to become acquainted. Again and again, you are introducing yourself to each other. You are trying to see the many facets of the other's personality. You are trying to penetrate deeper and deeper into his realm of inner feelings, into the deep recesses of his being. You are trying to unravel a mystery which cannot be unraveled. That is the joy of love: the exploration of consciousness. And if you relate, and don't reduce it to a relationship, then the other will become a mirror to you. Exploring him, unawares you will be exploring yourself too. Getting deeper into the other, knowing his feelings, his thoughts, his deeper stirrings, you will be knowing your own deeper stirrings too. Lovers become mirrors to each other, and then love becomes a meditation. Relationship is ugly, relating is beautiful.Hence I say relate. By saying relate, I mean remain continuously on a honeymoon. Go on searching and seeking each other, finding new ways of loving each other, finding new ways of being with each other. And each person is such an infinite mystery, inexhaustible, unfathomable, that it is not possible that you can ever say, "I have known her," or, "I have known him." At the most you can say, "I have tried my best, but the mystery remains a mystery."

In fact the more you know, the more mysterious the other becomes. Then love is a constant adventure.

---- discourse by Osho

जो बीत गई

जो बीत गई, सो बात गई
जीवन मैं एक सितारा था
माना वह बेहद प्यारा था
वह डूब गया तो डूब गया
अम्बर के आनन् को देखो
कितने इसके तारे टूटे
कितने इसके प्यारे छूटे
जो छूट गए फिर कहॉ मिले
पर बोलो टूटे तारों पर
कब अम्बर शोक मनाता है
जो बीत गई, सो बात गई

हरिवंश राई बच्चन

Untitled

Everybody says time is the greatest healer
So I wait for the pain to lessen
Every minute seems like an era
And every second I wish it would end


I try so hard to hide all the scars
But unknowingly when anything touches me
Though the wound is no longer raw
Its the heart that starts to bleed

Comes the Dawn

After awhile you learn the subtle difference,

Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts

And presents aren't promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats with you head up and your eyes open.

With the grace of maturity, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today,

Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,

And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns,
If you get too much.


So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure...

That you really are strong

And that you really do have worth.

And you learn and learn and learn...

With every goodbye you learn.

An Anonymous writer, profound wisdom floating as mail forward

Looking Ahead!

A summer not one swallow makes

Nor a shadow brings the night

Yet happens, in life one sees

You want to give up without a fight



So what, if you never reached

The haven that you thought

It does not matter whatever happened

In spite of all the battles you fought



Despair not for the harbor lost

Your intent was true

There are so many oceans there

Why should you feel blue



Open your heart and mind

To the world out there

Columbus set out to find India

But America is here



Arise, wake up and shine

Cast your sails anew

Open up the maps

And set the rudder too



For, a summer not one swallow makes

Nor one shadow brings the night

You have everything in you

Why give up without a fight.

Starfish

A inspirational set piece that has been doing the rounds of the mail circuit for a long time. Come to think of it, so many times we do not do, what we really want to, only thinking that "it does not matter".

Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?"

The young man paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing starfish in the ocean." "I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?" "The sun is up, and the tide is going out, and if I don't throw them in they'll die." "But, young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach, and starfish all along it. You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said, "It made a difference for that one."

Sanskrit Proverb - Thought

Faults and virtues arise from our companions.-Sanskrit proverb

According to this ancient saying, what is good in us andwhat is bad, our strong points and our weak points alike,develop because of constant association. When we associatewith calm people, we become calm; when we associate withagitated people, we become agitated. When we frequent thecompany of people who are wise, we become wiser; when ourcompany is otherwise, we become otherwise too.

We've all experienced this. When we have spent an eveningwith someone who is overwrought, we come home so agitatedourselves that we can't get to sleep. But there is apositive side of the power of association: we absorb goodqualities too, by spending time with people who embody them.Whenever we associate with people, we participate in their mental states.

[Source: Mail forward from my friend Sunita]

Love vs Trust

Can u love someone without trusting them completely?

What comes first in a relationship, trust or love?

These were the two questions a friend posed to me and I thought...

YES, it is possible to Love someone without Trusting them completely. Love as in romantic love is a feeling of affection for a person of opposite sex with sexual undertones. This feeling is an outcome of the personality that you interact with and focused on the positives. It is a net sum of the behavioral and visual aspects of a person. A person may have all the ingredients that make a great person - sensitivity, understanding, sense of humor, intellect, money, caring, adaptable and the list goes on, but if he/she does not qualify your basic criterion of looking good, he/she will always remain just a friend. You may instinctively start liking a person very strongly from the looks he/she possesses but as you interact, their thought processes and opinions may disgust you no ends.

When you decide to act on the feeling of yours is when the relation is formed. If you do not decide to act on your feeling, nothing will happen. You may choose to like a person and still do nothing about it or you may dislike a person and still do nothing about it. It may straightaway start as a romantic relationship when the sexual aspect (looks) takes precedence or it may slowly start with an appreciation of the behavioral aspects and then in due course of time may occur a trade-off on the looks front (if they do not meet your preset criterions).

The relationship is the next step, when you start enjoying and appreciating the relation so much that you want to preserve it for the rest of your life. You are willing to accept the person not only with the positives but willing to accommodate his negatives and help him/her evolve as a person. Its like an insurance people take to ensure that the feeling that is bringing them so much joy remains there forever. A relationship is formed when you want to maintain the feeling of affection and togetherness that you share currently with the person. And considering the purpose, it becomes imperative that you trust the person completely and vice-versa. Because we change everyday, you are not the same you when you wake up in the morning. Your experiences of the previous day have made you a further evolved person and time has changed you physically. This change is noticeable only when seen with a substantial difference in the reference point.

To have a successful relationship, one has to adapt to these changes in ones own self and that of the partner, only then the relation and the feeling will remain, as it was when it all started. I guess the bane of all long distance love affairs is the failure to adapt to these changes. That said, that’s where the primary importance of trust comes in. Trust in this context can be described as the measure of predictability of a person. This predictability could be in terms of either behavior or actions. Trust is something that grows or weans with time. All these adaptations are possible if and only if, the changes have not impacted certain basic assumptions about your partner, things that for you need to be axiomatic in terms of behaviors. For instance, if you feel that you should be the person on whom your partner should be emotionally most close and over a period of time that title gets snatched away from you, it will hurt you. If this premise is axiomatic, you will refuse to see all other positives. It will hurt you enough to think of calling curtains on that relationship. Hence as you travel from love as a feeling to love as a relationship, Trust takes precedence over Love.

Take another corollary, if you get into an arranged marriage, the trust aspect is forced upon you. And then with time Love grows. Only that is the premise of all successful arranged relationships. If the husband or wife is a philanderer, then it is not a successful relationship though they might be forced to stay together because of compulsions.

So the answer to the second question has to be Trust comes first in a relationship.

Many Lives One Master!

There are times when I am this ruthlessly practical person, who only listens to logic. When I am driven only by what I can see or what is explicable with real premises. Everything else has no meaning. Those are times when I find it tough to understand why people take emotional decisions. When I feel that any emotional decision is not worthy of being called a decision.

Then there are those times, when a lousy Chopra clan movie can make me cry buckets of tears. Remember that Sue Thompson hit- sad movie make me cry. When all around I see is misery and I keep thinking of ways and means of setting right all the wrongs of the world or at least die trying. When I would empty my pockets to the first beggar who comes my way. Not because I want to earn goodwill for my next birth but in the hope that the bugger will sleep for one day with a full stomach.

There are times, when I want to live my life my way, not how my friends see me, not how my parents want me to be, but just the way I would want to live it. And then there will be those times, when the rebel in me gives way to the total conformist who would not want to put a single step, out of the line.

Whenever I look back and think about all the decisions I have taken at different times in my life, I see it is one of these many people who has been the decision maker overruling the opinions of everybody else. That’s the conflict within.

And now, I look at ways and means to make all these different me’s to act together in a consultative mode so as to make the best of everything without resorting to feedback’s and opinions from anybody around. Who needs advice when all the different points of view exist within?

I don’t know if everybody feels that way, I can tell only about myself, there are times when I feel that there exists in me more than one personality, a different consciousness that is totally opposite to what I know of myself ordinarily. And what is scarier is the fact that it is not limited to just two, but many more. Does it imply that I suffer from some kind of personality disorder – I doubt, because I am aware of all of them, just that I do not know which one is going to take precedence in which context. But, I guess what makes me up and defines me is a net sum of all these different people inside put together.
My different lives!

The Alchemist

Wonderful Lines from the Alchemist: Lines that left an impact on me, either in terms of their implied meanings or my personal experiences in a similar context jotted in the order that they appear in the book…

It is the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.

Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his/her own.

At certain point in our lives, we loose control of what is happening to us and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.

We have to live our mistakes.

Not everyone can see his/her dreams come true in the same way.

There is a language in the world that everyone understands. It is the language of enthusiasm, of things accomplished with love and purpose, and as part of something believed in and desired.

When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you.

Making a decision is only the beginning of things, when someone really makes a decision; he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.

Everyone has his or her own way of learning things.

Life is a moment we’re living right now.

The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future and live each day. Each day in itself is an eternity.

It is not what enters men’s mouth that’s evil. It is what comes out of their mouth that is.

Don’t think about what you’ve left behind. If what finds is made of pure matter, it will never spoil. And one can always come back. If what you found was only a moment of light, like the explosion of a star, you would find nothing on your return.

What do you like more- Mountain or the Sea?

A couple of years back I used to be stumped by this particular questions on those typical Magic Forwards that claimed could tell you things you never knew about yourself. The question was – “What do you like the most – the Mountain or the Sea?”

Since childhood, what I had seen mostly was the mountains and I never had an answer to this question. But today I can say that I have made up my mind. I know for sure that I love the mountains. The sea may have its beauty and its secrets, but take a trek over the slopes and a walk along the most beautiful beech and you will know what I mean.

In a walk through the mountains- you go up and you go down. At times, you have loads of support and grip and at other times, it is slippery and waiting to see you down in ravines. A man can faces the struggles, losses, victories and achievements of a lifetime. It’s like living the experience of lifetime in a small little walk around.

The Way of the Waves

Its just a wave but can have such varying impact on the person standing on the shore. At times, it is slow and genial, coming and hitting the shore, in the process creating its own rhythm, which is so calming. One just feels like standing there and immersing one's self in the natural symphony and the spectacle that is created. Where ever eyes can see, out of seemingly still expanse erupt these white wonders and in a cosmic dance wash the shore.

At other times, they will be fast, furious and roaring, ready to devour everything that comes in the path. Not to be held back by any dykes or barriers. Scaring the wits out of the strongest.

These waves so much mirror the feelings and actions of humans. But unlike humans, they have been there, forever, so its tough to decide whether they act like humans or we humans act like them.

But one thing that needs to be appreciated is, whatever be the color of the sea, whatever is the state of the sea, whatever is the mood of the wave, the surf is always white. So, extending the argument of similarity of behavior, we can say that all men are essentially the same; it's other things that makes them what they are at a particular instance of time.

Probably, that's why all philosophical texts point to only one direction for salvation. They all point to the way of self-exploration, as a way of conquering impulsive expressions.

Friends

Doing things as per convenience, and walking the path of least resistance is the vestige of animal instinct in us, and I think humans have evolved beyond that. Path of least resistance may not necessarily be the best path but there is nothing wrong in analyzing ones failures to become a better human being.

I should have not made mistakes in the first place and learnt from things around, but I did not do that. That definitely does not imply I do not analyze and ensure that I do not repeat the mistakes of the past. Ifyou commit a mistake and still do not learn from it, then there is no bigger fool in this world than you. It has nothing to do with wanting things the way I had thought. Any relation needs two willing people, if it becomes one sided and you continue it then it eventually becomes pimping and prostitution and a series of compromises.

Any relationship is about acceptance of the other person as they are, not what you want them to be especially friendship. Relations can't be conditional. Did I ever say anything negative to you about your actions, I possibly just told you my reservations or expressed a different opinion. A "what if", had I been in a similar situation. And here you are calling yourself a friend and imposing 101 conditions on what I need to do to be considered by you as a friend. If that’s the kind of friends I have in life, then Thanks, but no Thanks.

I am better off - friendless.

The Tree

Seasons come and seasons go. They say like nature, life is full of cyclic changes. You can't be in one state forever.

But I wonder how, how does that tree feel, who has lived through the winter, uncertain and insecure about whether he will survive the snow and biting cold; living on the lone hope that soon spring will come, using the imagery of the grandeur of the spring to survive, to keep itself from getting wasted. How does it feel, when spring nearly comes and brings along with it a terrible storm? A storm that shakes out every tender twig and leaf it had. Everywhere around except itself, the tree sees the effect of spring, but it itself is left standing there "naked".

Does it have left, the strength, to wait for the leaves to bud again? Does it look forward to another spring? Or does it just stand there, waiting to be chopped down: to be used for fire to keep somebody warm. Or does it just fall into the earth, and rot so that it becomes compost, to make the land it was anchored in so far become more fertile, so that people or maybe the chunks of land around, marvel and applaud the fertility of the soil that it grew in.

I don't know, maybe the spring turns around and gives it new leaves, and the tree stands there, majestic and tall and greener than any other tree. For only "it" realizes the importance of the spring, for he has wanted it the most.

For the rest, it is just another season.

Men Women and Imaginations

Well, yesterday a friend of mine sent me an SMS. It read, "A great philosopher once said that when Men sleep with 'Sex on their Mind', they wake up with the 'Solution' in hand.I as any heavy duty messager will do immediately broadcast it adding the following line to those of the Female gender - "wonder what applies to Women then" .Well I just got one reply, that said "a female goes to to bed with the guy and wakes up with a problem in the tummy". I immediately clarified that the premise was Sex on mind.

The reply, well it stumped me. It was and I quote "I twisted the question because while generally guys go with Sex on mind, because of easy availability, women get it in real" .Now I wonder is that because of the skewed sex ratio or what, or is it sheer dumb luck that I came across none who had Sex on the mind. he he he.

What ever it is, it begs a serious question, coz I deep inside am still a romantic who believes in holding hands in dark movie halls and candle light dinners.

Chemical Weapons: C(k)issa Cola C(k)a

I am not an average Cola drinker, the only time I have colas is when they are mixed with my drinks , but this annual CSE-Cola Companies-Government business is getting on my nerves .

I have a very simple argument. My hometown is Faridabad. The water that comes from muncipal taps there is Brackish, Muddy and what not. There is a problem there, and for that there are no studies and findings required. But nobody is bothered. Earlier Aquaguard and now all the RO Purifier companies are doing a roaring business there. And, I have reasons to believe that it is the same story in almost every other part of the country.

Contaminated ground waters have resulted in flurosis and other diseases taking epidemic proportions in many Villages and towns of India.

If you jog down memory lane, there was a furor once upon a time about Synthetic Milk. What happened???

I would say that this pesticide in Cola story does not alarm the average Indians much. We all have become like the VishPurush’s and Vishkanya’s of Chandrakanta over a period of time. Poison does not affect us now.

Everybody is unnecessarily making the Cola companies the villains here. I guess the lack of pro-activity and silence of Government on these issues as a planned way of preparing and equipping Indians against possible Chemical Weapons use by Pakistan .

I am not going to think!

I was indignant when the reservation policy for the OBC was announced and spent a lot of time writing and forwarding articles to my friends. I thought I had a social responsibility that needed to be discharged. All articles written, read and forwarded by me during those days had one common lament. That was, the middle class does not bother to vote. I woke up to the fact that every time I went to the DC’s office to get my name included in the voters list, they asked me to come later and after a point of time I stopped following it. Now, the NDTV guys have started this campaign against bribes and efficient use of Right to Information act. So, now I plan to try and use RTI to get my name on the voter list.

I hope and pray that a lot many people my age, post the reservation imbroglio, will see to it that their names are on electoral rolls and they use their vote to kick the bastards at the place it hurts more ;) .

Having said that, I also realized I am now sick and tired of reacting to Government actions. They are such fools that every day they come out with some new thing to make any thinking person wince in pain. So I promised myself that I will stop reading all news where the word Government of India, or the word Ministry is mentioned.

I have decided to devote my thoughts to more interesting things, e.g, J K Rowling has said that two important characters will die in the Book 7 of Harry Potter. Wondering who it possibly can be???

Do you have a clue?

Mumbai Blast - Questions of a Common Man!

It was shocking news to hear, seven blasts in 11 minutes, that too around 6:30pm. For anybody who has been to Mumbai, even for a day, it would have been easy to visualize the impact. But not for all, would have been easy to visualize the Mumbai reaction. Long live the Mumbai spirits! Time and again the people of Mumbai have come forward and shown to the world what a civil response to terror needs to be. They have shown what human spirit is all about. The publishers of that survey who rated “Amchi Mumbai”, the rudest city must have been searching for places to hide after seeing the images of last night.

Having had seen a family members loss to terrorist madness in the past, my heart goes out to the families of those who died or were injured in the tragedy yesterday. Life goes on and we have to learn to cope with things.

In all this mayhem, while authorities search for ways and means to bring the culprits to book (and I hope they do not pick up some innocents to show their efficiency), there is a feeling that some important questions got raised in the aftermath of the blasts yesterday. I am neither a security expert nor a political analyst, but the questions that I beg to be answered are common sense:

1) What were the politicians trying to prove by visiting hospitals and accident sites?

There was no information available on those injured and dead. Relatives and friends were distraught as they tried to search from hospital to hospital, in rain and traffic jams to get some news of their loved ones. In the midst of all this, you compound traffic jams, you delay the injured being shifted between hospitals and you prevent relatives desperate to get news from getting anywhere near the hospitals just because Politicians want a photo-op to show their concern. What prevented these great leaders of India and Italy to wait till the morning and let things settle down first. Were they coming with Sanjeevani Buti’s?

2) Why was the telecom infrastructure down?

Considering the peak hour timing and the shutting down of trains, it was obvious that people would get delayed to reach their homes. In such a situation, Mobiles were jammed and people had no way of informing about their safety to their families and friends. Was this a time for mobile networks to be shut down? Yes, there might have been a risk of mischievous SMS’s going around, but did anybody care about the tensions that the families of people incommunicado had to go through.

3) Preparedness and Disaster Management?
Everywhere the media went the story was the same. Locals were the first one to reach and start rescue operations and when in true filmi style the police reached after having their Pan’s and Cigarettes, neither did they do anything themselves nor did they let the locals do anything. It’s clear we have not learnt our lessons and our Cops continue to be the most citizen unfriendly in the world. Only the traffic police seemed to know their job.

4) Planning, forecasting and preparation of Government machinery given Bhiwandi and statue desecration?

Yes, as all the analysts have pointed out, its tough to defend soft targets, but given the fact that the situation had become tense in the previous five days with Bhiwandi riots and Shiv Sena protests in Mumbai, should we have not expected tighter security and vigilance and disaster management teams ready for any eventuality?

Great men have said that we should not raise the questions unless we have a possible solution. I do not have solutions to the questions I have raised, but if we do not ask these questions now, then WHEN?

Passion Vs Dedication

I was answering the questions on a web psychology testing under the heading Relations and this one set me thinking... "What is more important in a relation Passion or Dedication".On first instinct, I clicked on dedication, but when I had to select the same for what I would like in my ideal match and its importance I had no instinctive answers.

After a lot of thought, and look up of the meanings and etymology on Websters, I concluded that it necessarily has to be a balance of the two, if looking at a lifetime of monogamy, it would be ideally a 60:40 ratio of D:P. Passion has an important role or else you would have people complaining of the spark having gone out of the relation.

If one is looking at serial hopping from one relation into another, then Passion is what it would be. Any amount of dedication will only make you feel guilty.

Its a tough toss-up