Many Lives One Master!

There are times when I am this ruthlessly practical person, who only listens to logic. When I am driven only by what I can see or what is explicable with real premises. Everything else has no meaning. Those are times when I find it tough to understand why people take emotional decisions. When I feel that any emotional decision is not worthy of being called a decision.

Then there are those times, when a lousy Chopra clan movie can make me cry buckets of tears. Remember that Sue Thompson hit- sad movie make me cry. When all around I see is misery and I keep thinking of ways and means of setting right all the wrongs of the world or at least die trying. When I would empty my pockets to the first beggar who comes my way. Not because I want to earn goodwill for my next birth but in the hope that the bugger will sleep for one day with a full stomach.

There are times, when I want to live my life my way, not how my friends see me, not how my parents want me to be, but just the way I would want to live it. And then there will be those times, when the rebel in me gives way to the total conformist who would not want to put a single step, out of the line.

Whenever I look back and think about all the decisions I have taken at different times in my life, I see it is one of these many people who has been the decision maker overruling the opinions of everybody else. That’s the conflict within.

And now, I look at ways and means to make all these different me’s to act together in a consultative mode so as to make the best of everything without resorting to feedback’s and opinions from anybody around. Who needs advice when all the different points of view exist within?

I don’t know if everybody feels that way, I can tell only about myself, there are times when I feel that there exists in me more than one personality, a different consciousness that is totally opposite to what I know of myself ordinarily. And what is scarier is the fact that it is not limited to just two, but many more. Does it imply that I suffer from some kind of personality disorder – I doubt, because I am aware of all of them, just that I do not know which one is going to take precedence in which context. But, I guess what makes me up and defines me is a net sum of all these different people inside put together.
My different lives!